The lesson is in the journey

“You can visit pity city but you can’t stay…” This was advice I received from a doctor years ago when I was faced with a medical issue that would require surgery. She told me to go home, eat cookies, binge watch movies, feel sad for myself and then tomorrow, start preparing for my surgery. Her advice was simple, yet so powerful.

How often had I let bad news or challenges weigh me down for what seemed like forever? I have shared this advice many times over the years to people in my life-friends, family, my children and even clients.  The lessons aren’t in the challenges but rather how we pick ourselves back up to continue pushing forward.

Have you experienced a situation or circumstance, where things didn’t go the way you wanted or threw you for a loop? How did you get through it? Did you have support or a plan. Those are the things to remember when another challenge comes you way.

I remember being laid off, twice in 13 months to be exact, from Best Buy. The first time, I wasn’t surprised but it still rocked me. I remember crying in the meeting where they told me, grabbing drinks with my other friends in the same situation and heading home where I went into the ‘why me’ stage. Somewhere in the night, I was reminded of the quote my doctor told me (probably because it was fresh in my mind as my surgery was only a year prior). The next day, I set up meetings to find my next home within the company and I moved forward. That didn’t mean I still didn’t feel the emotions, because I did. I was angry and disappointed. I wondered what I could have done differently to prevent this from happening. But I knew that type of thinking wasn’t going to help. I knew I had to keep pushing on. And I remember the lessons to this day.

Fast forward 13 months and I was in the situation again. This time, I didn’t bounce back right away. In fact, it took me almost 3 months to start putting a plan together to move forward, but I did. Slowly, but surely, I started to climb out of my sorrow and began to bring my plan to life. I needed my support team. My husband. Friends. Parents. There are many people in my life who could help me see my value when I couldn’t.  This very challenging time in my life happens to be one I look at most fondly. I call it the best gift from Best Buy. It took a long time and didn’t happen overnight, but over time I found myself making progress.

For those that know me well, they know that music is at the center of my life. I find joy and inspiration in songs. Sometimes they speak to my soul, like this song by Miley Cyrus- The Climb. I love it because it reminds me to keep trying and pushing forward. The lyrics are powerful. This is a song you can pull up when you need some motivation to move forward. Maybe you didn’t get a job/role you really wanted. Maybe the presentation you were giving didn’t deliver. Maybe your faced with a personal situation that throws you for a loop.  Or possibly just remembering the quote from my doctor will help.   anthony-delanoix-18803 (1)

Do you have strategies that you leverage when you are faced with a challenge, both professionally and personally? I would love to hear them-leave me a note in the comments.  

By the way, after receiving the advice from my doctor, I did in fact go home and ate an entire package of cookie dough, curled up on the couch, watched a romantic comedy and mourned what was never going to be again-the ability to have children. And the next day, I started the process of moving forward.

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To your growth, development and amazing potential,

LisaH-9.jpg
Lisa Hayes
Leadership Development Coach
http://www.through-the-hayes.com

Remember The Excitement?

It’s the season for graduations. Are there are smiling faces of recent graduates filling up your news feeds on social media? Or maybe, like me, you have someone in your family graduating. My nephew just graduated a few weeks ago and I it seems like just yesterday he and my daughter were crawling around outside in the grass.  I am not sure how he has graduated when I have not aged in 18 years.

As I look at the smiling faces on Facebook or the graduation party invites that fill my kitchen, I can’t help but be filled with many emotions as I think about the next steps each of them will take going forward-excitement, joy, fear, happiness and curiosity. I am curious if the path they start on will be the one they look at when they are 40? What does their journey look like? Often, it’s not a linear journey but one of twists and turns and I can’t wait to see where theirs leads.baim-hanif-89800 (1)

 

 

This last week I have found myself deep in thought of my own journey.  Reflecting on my own high school graduation. What were my hopes and dreams? Where did I expect my life to go? I clearly remember the feeling of anticipation and excitement. I didn’t know what the future would hold, but I was ready and thrilled to be setting out on my own journey.

 

 

 

I entered college and focused on a degree in marketing. Looking back can’t believe how much I learned over those years. Fast forward 20 years (yikes!) and I sit here blessed. Reflecting on my journey brings a smile to my face. The anticipation. The trials. The failures. The successes. All of it. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I wonder if the excited 18 year old would have guessed where life took me.

If you know about my journey, I was gifted with the opportunity of a lifetime 5 years ago. A lay off pushed me to do something I have wanted to do for a long time but never really talked about. I could pursue my dream of coaching and developing others. This was a time when I was stressed-a family, mortgage, no job and two young children.  Unsure of where my future would take me, I took time to pause and think through what would give me the excitement and curiosity. Just like years ago.

 

 

Do you remember the excitement and thrill you felt as a young graduate? Is it missing or still there? Maybe like me, its lurking under the surface and you need to let it rise. Wouldn’t it be great if you could look at the world like you did back then?  What would that feel like? Or look like?

I hope you can look back fondly on your journey. And maybe even approach your future with the wonder, excitement and curiosity of a high school graduate.

To Your Growth, Development and Amazing Potential,

 

Lisa Hayes
www.through-the-hayes.com

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The Power Of Your ‘Squad’

There comes a time where you find yourself needing advice or guidance. Maybe even someone you can vent to or you need someone to celebrate your success.

Have you heard these words before-” tribe”, “squad” or “crew”? I hadn’t until recently. These are the go-to person(s) in your life. This could be an informal group of individuals professional contacts or close friends.

Recently, I was asked who was in my squad. I had never been asked this before. Instantly, I blurted out a few names, with my husband being the first one. But it got me thinking-did I have a bigger squad that I wasn’t aware of. So I started paying attention and noticing who I relied upon for certain things.

There was the group of coaches I talk with to share leanings, best practices and get advice from when I am stuck. Then there is my best friend who knows me best and I need to talk with when I am lonely and need a pick me up. There is the business contact I rely on to get insight into how business development continues to evolve.  The group isn’t limited to just a few people but also isn’t so large that I get overwhelmed. Without knowing, I have built a solid squad over the years. Some of these relationships evolved because of a business reason or we have a personal connection. No matter how our relationship started, these are people who I trust. I share with. Who I need to know will give me advice, guidance and sometimes laughter!

Last Friday, I had the opportunity to sit at my house for almost 3 hours with someone from my squad (if you are reading this…you know who you are!). It was unexpected. In fact, she stopped by for a totally separate reason, but we started talking about life and our businesses. She and I both are entrepreneurs and have leveraged each other for certain things over the years but this time it was to brainstorm the future of our businesses. It was a conversation and discussion my soul needed. To have someone in my life who gets it. Gets what its like to want more yet struggles to do it alone. I felt rejuvenated after our time together.

Later that same day, I was outside doing yard work when a friend stopped over to tell me to grab my purse and get in her car, we were going to get a drink with some other friends. Normally, I would have said ‘no way’ as I was sweaty, dirty and still had lots of work to do. But I didn’t. Its like my soul knew I needed something more. So off we went and for a few hours, the four of us chatted, laughed and caught up. These are friends I have known for years and no matter how long its been since we hung out, its like no time had passed.0h_posg0dlo-eddy-lackmann

Who’s in your squad? Your squad does not need to be the same people day in and day out. There will be people you leverage for many different things. Some personal. Some professional. Some frequently. Some only periodically. No matter what you rely upon them for, its probably a relationship you hold dearly. A person you know is always there for you, whatever it is you need, even if its just to lend an ear so you can vent or share your fears or frustrations with and nothing more. The power of a squad is they are there for you when you need them most.

To your growth, development and amazing potential,

Lisa Hayes
Leadership Coach and Facilitator
www.through-the-hayes.com

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