Not Sorry

Recently, I attended a Women’s Leadership program where I was a participant in the learning session and a coach in a small group working session. One of the speakers in the learning session shared a very short video in which women were constantly saying “I’m Sorry”, when someone almost walked into them, when asking a question in a meeting and when asking for help with a task. While I don’t believe it’s just women who find themselves saying “sorry” for things, the session was eye opening.

I never really paid attention to how often I personally say I am sorry in a given day. Now there are times when saying sorry isn’t a bad thing. In fact sometime, self-deprecating humor or apologizing can be a way to ease into a conversation or discussion.

Take a recent board meeting. I had a question that in my opinion I felt maybe I should know. I leaned over to another board member and said “I’m sorry, this is probably
a stupid question…” Would you look at that? In one short sentence I not only apologized for a legitimate question I needed answered but the listener now has a tainted viewpoint of the question…that it will be stupid.

Changing the wording can be helpful. In fact, I caught myself in the moment and told him that it wasn’t a stupid question but rather question I still had not found an answer for.Vgu1RUfKT3WN1ZYxSWaR_14672519443_13d8873062_k

Take a look at how often you are saying ‘Sorry’. Can you change what you say? Just today, I found myself and another person trying to get into the same doorway. I would normally say “I’m sorry” but today I said, please go ahead. Maybe it is possible to teach an old dog new tricks!?!?!?

Interested in seeing the short video that was played at the event I mentioned? Check it out here: vimeo.com/150848276 Continue reading

Coloring. Slowing Down The Mind

You know the feeling-the one where you feel like you are spinning out of control? Time is moving fast and you can’t keep up. That’s how the last few months have been for me. I recognized the feelings as soon as they happened and knew that the best medicine for me was to slow down a bit.  I needed some time to refocus on my goals, my life and where I want my business to go. Its a story I know all to often. Seems to happen each year, starting in the fall.  At first I was worried that I wasn’t fulfilling my commitments. What commitments you may wonder? The commitment I made to myself  in the beginning of 2016. The ones that meant, this was going to be MY year to finally prove to myself I could do what I set my mind to. I put some serious unrealistic expectations on myself sometimes. Can you relate?

I had to have a real frank discussion with myself and give myself a swift kick to realize that I was driving myself crazy trying to concur the world.

December started with lots of excitement. Excited to get ton done for my business before the New Year. What I failed to take into consideration was that December is a busy month personally for me. My youngest has a birthday at the beginning. And of course, getting things ready for the holidays. Planning meals my family would enjoy and fill their bellies and memories until next year. It takes a lot of time to plan for the holidays. This was my families last Christmas before some major changes come to us and I wanted it to be perfect. So I went above and beyond. Yikes….I am tired rethinking all of it.

When the holiday planning came into play, all my excitement for my business was lost. I didn’t want dive into my big plans. I was so proud to finally get my 2017 business plan together but I definitely did not (and haven’t finished) my marketing plan. There are plenty of days when I just wanted to throw it all away. Be done. Go back to Corporate America. Surely it would be easier than this. Running a business, or trying to.  Trying to be successful and make an impact. Its hard work. Harder than I ever thought it would be.  I realized I needed to refocus on my professional direction. I had to tell myself what I tell my clients-it’s important to pause and reflect on where we are and if the road we are on is the right one. And envision where we want to go. 

So I did that. I stopped. And refocused my mind. Became one
 in the moment with my family. Made memories. Read
professional articles to better myself. Started knitting aga1zr3wnstnvy-aaron-burdenin and colored.  Yes, I colored. Like I did when I was 9. I love to color and why in the world did I stop because I got older? Its funny, they say the adult color books help you focus because
the pictures are so intricate. I find so much truth in that-do you?  

You know what happened while I was coloring? My mind slowed down. I started thinking about my business. What was important and who was important in it. I forgave myself for the wrong turns I have taken this far. And I started getting excited for the upcoming year. I started believing I am making a difference in people’s lives. That the work I do matters. My heart started feeling full again and most importantly I believed in myself and my purpose. I am back on the road towards MY goals. Not anyone else’s version of my goals. Mine. And it feels great!

My hope for you is to take time to pause and reflect-its important to our mental health, but also helps us visualize where we want to be. Do you want to be more fulfilled at work, find a new job, become an entrepreneur, go back to school, or be more involved in your community? What does your heart desire? No matter what it is- don’t be afraid to quiet down once in a while and see what unfolds. What things can you do to slow your mind down to hear what its saying? 

Maybe finding a new job or growing professionally is on your list? If so, contact me to learn about new client discounts to kick off 2017!

To your development, growth and amazing potential,

Lisa

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I Never Thought It Would Happen To Me. Again.

I remember it like yesterday. Feeling lost. Stressed. Uninspired. Unenergized. Sad. Burnt Out. I was working my ass off in Corporate America. Doing work I loved but burning the candle at both ends so to speak. It wasn’t until I got laid off in the spring of 2012 that I realized how burnt out I was. My soul was in complete disarray. It was then that I made the decision to leave the rat race behind and take total control of my ‘work/life balance’.

One business venture turned into another. Taking a leap in June 2014 to launch a business based upon my passions not my technical aptitude was exciting, thrilling and fun. And I was doing it my way. On my terms. As fast or slow as I wanted. I was in control and happy.

Fast forward to the fall of 2015. Those feelings crept back in. Lost. Uninspired. Unmotivated. Unhappy. Really unhappy. And I noticed I shut down. Stopped writing. Stopped believing in myself and my business. Stopped caring. I was BURNT OUT. It took me until after the holidays to admit it to myself. Here I was, in total control of what was happening and I let myself get burnt out. I was embarrassed with myself. How could I let this happen. I never thought it would happen to me once I left my corporate job. This was what I coached my clients on. Keeping up the harmony between work and life. I felt like a failure.

Once I acknowledged it to myself, I was able to begin the process of climbing out of the hole I had dug. I found that the tools that I used to help me better myself as a coach were those that were causing me the most stress-social media. Now, I love social tools like Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram and LinkedIn.I love learning from experts in my field. I enjoy hearing new viewpoints from others.

What I noticed though was I starting judging myself against what others were showing online. Do you ever do that? Judge your life from others based upon their social presence. Other business owners seemed to have figured out how to market to their target clients. “Wow, they have it all figured out” was all I kept telling myself. And with each post I read or newsletter that landed in my inbox, I sunk deeper into my funk. They were posting on every platform, numerous times a day. I have hired social media experts to show me when you should post, how often, etc. That gave me even more anxiety. Any networking event for business owners kept throwing in my face how bad I was at this business ownership (or so I thought…). I was trying to fit into their mold. Not mine. One thing I have always prided myself on was being just a bit unique in all I do.

I can’t tell how many times I almost gave in in the past 6 months. Shut down my business and found a 8-5 job. Then it hit me-I wasn’t taking care of me first. I was letting myself get burnt out just like I did in my corporate job. Just like I would again and again if I didn’t pause and take back the control.

So I created a rule in my outlook that puts those newsletters in a folder that I can look at when I want to. I moved facebook off my phone to not get distracted. I limited the notifications I get when on facebook-I don’t have everything in my newsfeed anymore. I am trying hard to ensure I exercise daily (harder here in MN in the winter as I prefer to be outdoors).

I am taking baby steps. Determining what really is important for ME to do with my social media. With MY business. What fits with MY authenticity not someone else’s definition of it. And I must say, it feels good. I feel like the I am starting to come back to who I was last year. I am more concerned with doing awesome work inspiring others (and being inspired in return) than fitting into the rat race. I want to make an impact in my community and with my clients.

Just like the winter turns into spring, the sun is starting to shine a little brighter in my world and it feels good.

To Your Growth, Development and Amazing Potential, 

Lisa

Leadership Coach

 

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What is Momentum and How Can It Work in Your Life?

The scientific theory of momentum can work similarly in your own life and to help you reach goals. The same facts which can lift a jet plane off the ground can lift you out of a stagnant life and put you in a world where positive things happen and you reach the success you desire.

The scientific theory of momentum is Mass x Velocity = Momentum. You’ve probably seen trucks barreling down the highway at rapid speeds – and the results of hitting a slick spot in the road. The faster the truck is speeding, the more difficult it is to slow it down.

It takes powerful brakes to slow that truck after it gathers a certain amount of momentum. It’s the same momentum that gets a jet plane off the ground and the same momentum that gets a train to photo-1420819453217-57b6badd9e19its destination on time.

As momentum relates to your life – once you gather momentum and keep it going, it’s going to be difficult to stop the forward motion you’ve created. In the beginning many things can throw you off track, but when you’ve worked for a period of time, momentum builds and can propel you on to success.

Momentum can make you successful in many areas of your life – if you have weight to lose, it becomes easier to keep losing weight after you’ve lost a few pounds. Your mind is set, your habits of eating and exercising have improved and you have fewer doubts that you’ll reach the finish line.

In relationships, momentum can work to establish commitment and sharing with others. Relationships are fragile and must be nourished and nurtured consistently to bring about the results you want.

Work related momentum can guide you through the maze of climbing the corporate ladder or beginning a business and making a success of it. No one wants to be stuck in a “going-nowhere” job, and you need to recognize when momentum just isn’t working and make a decision to move forward in another area or career.

Learn all you can about momentum and how the scientific principle can be used in all areas of your life. Once the wheels start turning, it will be difficult to stop you achieving what you set out to do.

To your growth, development and amazing potential,

Lisa

Four Tips to Enhance Your Resume

We’ve have heard it. A resume is the most important piece of a job search. Actually, I think they are part of a bigger strategy, but I will talk about that at a later date. In fact, a resume is the first thing many individuals jump to ‘update’ when they need or want a new job.

Resumes are a great insight into how you can help solve a hiring manager’s problem with validated information showcasing how you have done that in the past.  Often if we haven’t updated our resume for awhile, we forget what we should or shouldn’t do.  QDSMoAMTYaZoXpcwBjsL__DSC0104-1

So as set out to revamp or even start your resume, remember the following tips:

Lose the objective statement. Long gone are the days that we state on a resume, Seeking a position…. Or My objective is to be in a X role with a growing company. Having this on your resume will surely get you overlooked. Instead make sure you have a solid summary section which balances your brand, skills and abilities. It should be a holistic view of who you are as an employee and how your skills will solve the hiring managers problem.

Length- 1 to 2 pages maximum. Levo league had an article highlighting things to remove from your resume. #9 talks about keeping your resume to 1 page.  I don’t agree fully in this. In my opinion, if your experience is greater than 10 years, I would expect to see a 2 page resume when you think of all the information I want to see. A robust summary section, your experience, education and any other relevant information (professional training, technical skills, etc.). Although, this is your resume. Do what feels good for you-1 or 2 pages but NEVER go beyond 2 pages. You will lose your reader who is only spending 6 seconds reading it anyway.

Detail the last 10-15 years only. You don’t need to put much depth to jobs you had 20 years ago. What’s most important is what you have done recently that can be of service to this new job.

Use POWER words.  Put power behind your accomplishments by using strong action words. Words like Managed, Developed, Supervised, Led, Created, etc. have more punch behind them and leave the reader with a positive impression.

Simple and classic look. NO need to have fancy boarders, graphs or pictures in your resume (unless you are a designer…that’s a unique situation). Keep you look simple allowing for the reader to quickly get to the heart of why they are reading your resume. Do you have the skills and experience they are looking for?

No matter what you are in the development of your resume, just starting or making quick edits, hopefully these easy tips will help.

Also, check out the outrageous and crazy resume mistakes in the 2013 Career Builders study of Common and Not-So-Common Resume Mistakes That Can Cost You the Job.  Find interesting things like how someone listed on their resume their objective was “To work for someone who is not an alcoholic with three DUI’s like my current employer”.  I am not easily surprised these days…but that one threw me for a loop.

To your growth, development and amazing potential,
Lisa Hayes
Professional Development Coach
http://www.through-the-hayes.com

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How Will You Celebrate ‘Update Your Resume Month’?

Did you know that September is, International Update Your Resume Month, designated by Career Directors International? I am not surprised-the fall is a great time to take stock of where you are in your career and put some organization around things like networking and resumes.

In fact, I view resumes the same as I view networking. Something you should be nurturing and updating constantly so that when it’s needed, you aren’t scrambling to update it. As we celebrate this important piece of your job search (now or in the future) here are some things to help.

  1. Evaluate Career Objectives. No matter when you last updated your resume, take a look at what you have and compare with your career objectives. Does your resume reflect you goals and ambitions for the future (aka this is your summary section of your resume). If not, it’s time to spend some time getting it right.
  2. Set up a Resume File. Keep a folder in your email box and also a paper one to house anything over time that could help you update your resume-kuddos from a business leader or boss. Recognition from a client. Notes about a volunteer event you attended. Copies of your annual review. Anything that will help you remember details when you sit down to update your resume.
  3. Continue Learning. Learning new skills enhances your resume. Sign up and take online classes like at Udemy, attend development workshops (either in your photo-1416339442236-8ceb164046f8company or in the community), etc. Add these new skills and trainings to not only your resume but your LinkedIn profile as well.  Learning also doesn’t have to just be about skill development. Enhancing your own development comes from many places. Those listed above but you can also find great articles online or read business books/blogs tailored to your career objectives that will grow your knowledge base.
  4. Volunteer Your Time. Spending time volunteering gives you more depth on your resume. If a potential company believes in community give back and you show that you consistently volunteer for the local animal shelter, you show alignment with their values. Not only that, but you meet amazing people, feel good about the work you are doing and may actually build some new skills that you can put on your resume (see number 3).

So celebrate this month by getting your resume back on track! I am curious, are there other ways you could enhance your resume? Leave a comment and share what you have tried and how it has worked for you.

To your growth, development and amazing potential,
Lisa Hayes
Professional Development Coach
http://www.through-the-hayes.com

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Who Are You?

I have spent a lot of this summer teaching workshops to individuals who are looking for their next job. Some are in a position of a job loss, others are looking for a new role. In either situation, my first question to them is, tell me about you.  Inevitably, I am met with stares and looks of ‘I don’t know’. I begin by then asking deeper questions to help them begin to describe themselves to me. I can then help formulate the words into context that is relevant to them.

In my opinion this is the MOST critical part of professional development, including job search.  It’s also the foundation in my executive coaching practice as well. Self-awareness and knowing oneself is at the heart of all we do both professionally and personally. I have spent years reflecting on my own awareness and to this day I continue learning its intricacies. It helps me share with my clients how I can help them and/or my strengths, it allows me to have deeper conversations with loved ones about my needs, it shapes who I am as a woman, wife, mother, daughter, and friend. I am able to be clear with what they should or should not expect from me. It also has been very helpful when starting a new job, getting a new boss or moving up the ladder.

Knowing not only who you are but what you do well is important to do work that is meaningful and exciting to you. I vividly remember years ago working in a corporate job. Our business unit had changed objectives and teams were being formed to support our new goals. Our Vice President at the time told me she was putting me in an analytical role because she felt I would a great fit into developing reports for the leaders on our team. At first I walked away mystified as to why she would think that because I HATE building reports. I even hated reading reports unless they were the high level versions that could be read in a few minute. After thinking about this for a few days I asked for a meeting with her. When I walked into her office I took a seat and told her, developing reports is not my strength. I don’t enjoy it thus I am not sure I am the best person for this new role. She asked what I was good at. My years of practicing my own development allowed me to tell her clearly what I was great at doing, what my passions were and how I really felt I could support leaders on this new team. To say I was elated when she agreed with me and changed the focus on my role, is an understatement. Think of how unhappy I would have been had I not said anything. Instead I started off immediately doing work I loved and made a positive impact to the entire team. All because I knew myself. Deeply.

This is one of thousands of examples from myself and those I work with that demonstrate the power of self-awareness.

As you embark on your professional development journey, don’t rush through self-reflection and awareness. It lays the groundwork for all there is to follow. And remember, you are the expert on you. Take the time to thiphoto-1429277005502-eed8e872fe52nk through the following:

  1. Who you are (your brand)
  2. What you are known for or how others describe you.
  3. What you love to do
  4. What you don’t enjoy

Jot your answers down, practice saying it out loud or whatever you need to do so you are armed and ready when the time is right.

To your growth, development and amazing potential,
Lisa Hayes
Professional Development Coach
www.through-the-hayes.com