I Never Thought It Would Happen To Me. Again.

I remember it like yesterday. Feeling lost. Stressed. Uninspired. Unenergized. Sad. Burnt Out. I was working my ass off in Corporate America. Doing work I loved but burning the candle at both ends so to speak. It wasn’t until I got laid off in the spring of 2012 that I realized how burnt out I was. My soul was in complete disarray. It was then that I made the decision to leave the rat race behind and take total control of my ‘work/life balance’.

One business venture turned into another. Taking a leap in June 2014 to launch a business based upon my passions not my technical aptitude was exciting, thrilling and fun. And I was doing it my way. On my terms. As fast or slow as I wanted. I was in control and happy.

Fast forward to the fall of 2015. Those feelings crept back in. Lost. Uninspired. Unmotivated. Unhappy. Really unhappy. And I noticed I shut down. Stopped writing. Stopped believing in myself and my business. Stopped caring. I was BURNT OUT. It took me until after the holidays to admit it to myself. Here I was, in total control of what was happening and I let myself get burnt out. I was embarrassed with myself. How could I let this happen. I never thought it would happen to me once I left my corporate job. This was what I coached my clients on. Keeping up the harmony between work and life. I felt like a failure.

Once I acknowledged it to myself, I was able to begin the process of climbing out of the hole I had dug. I found that the tools that I used to help me better myself as a coach were those that were causing me the most stress-social media. Now, I love social tools like Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram and LinkedIn.I love learning from experts in my field. I enjoy hearing new viewpoints from others.

What I noticed though was I starting judging myself against what others were showing online. Do you ever do that? Judge your life from others based upon their social presence. Other business owners seemed to have figured out how to market to their target clients. “Wow, they have it all figured out” was all I kept telling myself. And with each post I read or newsletter that landed in my inbox, I sunk deeper into my funk. They were posting on every platform, numerous times a day. I have hired social media experts to show me when you should post, how often, etc. That gave me even more anxiety. Any networking event for business owners kept throwing in my face how bad I was at this business ownership (or so I thought…). I was trying to fit into their mold. Not mine. One thing I have always prided myself on was being just a bit unique in all I do.

I can’t tell how many times I almost gave in in the past 6 months. Shut down my business and found a 8-5 job. Then it hit me-I wasn’t taking care of me first. I was letting myself get burnt out just like I did in my corporate job. Just like I would again and again if I didn’t pause and take back the control.

So I created a rule in my outlook that puts those newsletters in a folder that I can look at when I want to. I moved facebook off my phone to not get distracted. I limited the notifications I get when on facebook-I don’t have everything in my newsfeed anymore. I am trying hard to ensure I exercise daily (harder here in MN in the winter as I prefer to be outdoors).

I am taking baby steps. Determining what really is important for ME to do with my social media. With MY business. What fits with MY authenticity not someone else’s definition of it. And I must say, it feels good. I feel like the I am starting to come back to who I was last year. I am more concerned with doing awesome work inspiring others (and being inspired in return) than fitting into the rat race. I want to make an impact in my community and with my clients.

Just like the winter turns into spring, the sun is starting to shine a little brighter in my world and it feels good.

To Your Growth, Development and Amazing Potential, 

Lisa

Leadership Coach

 

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What is Momentum and How Can It Work in Your Life?

The scientific theory of momentum can work similarly in your own life and to help you reach goals. The same facts which can lift a jet plane off the ground can lift you out of a stagnant life and put you in a world where positive things happen and you reach the success you desire.

The scientific theory of momentum is Mass x Velocity = Momentum. You’ve probably seen trucks barreling down the highway at rapid speeds – and the results of hitting a slick spot in the road. The faster the truck is speeding, the more difficult it is to slow it down.

It takes powerful brakes to slow that truck after it gathers a certain amount of momentum. It’s the same momentum that gets a jet plane off the ground and the same momentum that gets a train to its destination on time.

As momentum relates to your life – once you gather momentum and keep it going, it’s going to be difficult to stop the forward motion you’ve created. In the beginning many things can throw you off track, but when you’ve worked for a period of time, momentum builds and can propel you on to success.

Momentum can make you successful in many areas of your life – if you have weight to lose, it becomes easier to keep losing weight after you’ve lost a few pounds. Your mind is set, your habits of eating and exercising have improved and you have fewer doubts that you’ll reach the finish line.

In relationships, momentum can work to establish commitment and sharing with others. Relationships are fragile and must be nourished and nurtured consistently to bring about the results you want.

Work related momentum can guide you through the maze of climbing the corporate ladder or beginning a business and making a success of it. No one wants to be stuck in a “going-nowhere” job, and you need to recognize when momentum just isn’t working and make a decision to move forward in another area or career.

Learn all you can about momentum and how the scientific principle can be used in all areas of your life. Once the wheels start turning, it will be difficult to stop you achieving what you set out to do.

To your growth, development and amazing potential,

Lisa

Who Are You?

I have spent a lot of this summer teaching workshops to individuals who are looking for their next job. Some are in a position of a job loss, others are looking for a new role. In either situation, my first question to them is, tell me about you.  Inevitably, I am met with stares and looks of ‘I don’t know’. I begin by then asking deeper questions to help them begin to describe themselves to me. I can then help formulate the words into context that is relevant to them.

In my opinion this is the MOST critical part of professional development, including job search.  It’s also the foundation in my executive coaching practice as well. Self-awareness and knowing oneself is at the heart of all we do both professionally and personally. I have spent years reflecting on my own awareness and to this day I continue learning its intricacies. It helps me share with my clients how I can help them and/or my strengths, it allows me to have deeper conversations with loved ones about my needs, it shapes who I am as a woman, wife, mother, daughter, and friend. I am able to be clear with what they should or should not expect from me. It also has been very helpful when starting a new job, getting a new boss or moving up the ladder.

Knowing not only who you are but what you do well is important to do work that is meaningful and exciting to you. I vividly remember years ago working in a corporate job. Our business unit had changed objectives and teams were being formed to support our new goals. Our Vice President at the time told me she was putting me in an analytical role because she felt I would a great fit into developing reports for the leaders on our team. At first I walked away mystified as to why she would think that because I HATE building reports. I even hated reading reports unless they were the high level versions that could be read in a few minute. After thinking about this for a few days I asked for a meeting with her. When I walked into her office I took a seat and told her, developing reports is not my strength. I don’t enjoy it thus I am not sure I am the best person for this new role. She asked what I was good at. My years of practicing my own development allowed me to tell her clearly what I was great at doing, what my passions were and how I really felt I could support leaders on this new team. To say I was elated when she agreed with me and changed the focus on my role, is an understatement. Think of how unhappy I would have been had I not said anything. Instead I started off immediately doing work I loved and made a positive impact to the entire team. All because I knew myself. Deeply.

This is one of thousands of examples from myself and those I work with that demonstrate the power of self-awareness.

As you embark on your professional development journey, don’t rush through self-reflection and awareness. It lays the groundwork for all there is to follow. And remember, you are the expert on you. Take the time to think through the following:

1. Who you are (your brand)
2. What you are known for or how others describe you.
3. What you love to do
4. What you don’t enjoy

Jot your answers down, practice saying it out loud or whatever you need to do so you are armed and ready when the time is right.

To your growth, development and amazing potential,
Lisa Hayes
Professional Development Coach
www.through-the-hayes.com

Just A Feeling….

Feelings. We all have them-the good, the bad and the ugly ones. Those feelings that warm our hearts and make us feel whole. Or give a punch in the gut and remind us to avoid it at all costs. I have begun working to build my life around the good feelings. The one’s I want to set the course for how I feel every day.

First thing is to acknowledge my feelings. Say out loud how I want to feel in a situation, in a moment or all the time. It takes a lot of practice, patience and honesty to not only commit myself to those feelings but actually share them with those I care about.

Recently, I put together the plans for an event I have been “talking about” for months. I have talked, dreamed and envisioned it but never pulled the trigger. Why? Because I am scared. Scared no one will come. Scared people won’t feel the same leaving the event as I want them to. Fear is paralyzing. But I kept reminding myself that if I want to live a life of inspiration, if I want to inspire/motivate others, I have to try. Throw myself into the universe and invite people in. Face my fear head on.

I have always led my life by my feelings I just didn’t know it until I purposely say down and thought about my life. My decisions, both personally and professionally, have been based on a core set of feelings and here they are (for all to see….)

Joy . Calm . Inspiration .  Empowerment .  Resilience . Motivation .  Confident .  Harmony. 

Knowing this and acknowledging this has been eye opening and exhilarating. I am making goals and plans with these intended feelings as the outcome. I am walking away from things that don’t match with these feelings. It’s an exciting time!

How do you do this yourself? Think about the different areas of your life-work, home, family/love/friends, etc. and jot down how you want to feel in each bucket.

For example, for family/friends I knew I wanted to feel happy and excited in these relationships or areas of my life. Thinking about it more, I noticed that the word harmony felt right. I want two sided relationships. No drama. People in my life that support each other, etc. Harmony became my word for this part of my life and I try as best I can to always have that at the forefront of my relationships (just ask anyone-I hate conflict and drama!)

I encourage you to try it. I would love to hear your set feelings that shape your life, but remember Rome wasn’t built in a day. It takes time, diligence and practice around this. Trying things, trying different words, etc. And when it feels right-it probably is.

To your growth, development & amazing potential,

Lisa 

“A Better You” Your 7 Day Program to Self-Improvement

I seem to have lost count on how many times I’ve read and heard of celebrity marriages failing almost left and right. Not that I care (and personally I don’t), but I really thought Mariah and Nick were going to last forever!

Doesn’t it seem strange that we often see movie and TV stars as flawless people, living the fairytale life of riches and glamour. I suppose we all have to stop sticking our heads in the clouds and face reality.They face the same challenges as us. About ourselves, our relationships and our lives.

There are many ways to lose your sense of self-esteem despite of how trivial it gets. No matter what happens, we should all try to not lose our own sense of self. So what does it take to be a cut above the rest? Here are some of the things you can think and improve on that should be enough for a week.

Know your purpose
Are you wandering through life with little direction – hoping that you’ll find happiness, health and prosperity? Identify your life purpose or mission statement and you will have your own unique compass that will lead you to your truth north every time.

This may seem tricky at first when you see yourself to be in a tight or even dead end. But there’s always that little loophole to turn things around and you can make a big difference to yourself.

Know your values
What do you value most? Make a list of your top 5 values. Some examples are security, freedom, family, spiritual development, learning. As you set your goals for for rest of the year and 2015 – check your goals against your values. If the goal doesn’t align with any of your top five values – you may want to reconsider it or revise it.

The number shouldn’t discourage you, instead it should motivate you to do more than you can ever dreamed of.

Know your needs
Unmet needs can keep you from living authentically. Take care of yourself. Do you have a need to be acknowledged, to be right, to be in control, to be loved? There are so many people who lived their lives without realizing their dreams and most of them end up being stressed or even depressed for that matter. List your top four needs and get them met before it’s too late!

Know your passions
You know who you are and what you truly enjoy in life. Obstacles like doubt and lack of enthusiasm will only hinder you, but will not derail your chance to become the person you ought to be. Express yourself and honor the people who have inspired you to become the very person you wanted to be.

Live from the inside out
Increase your awareness of your inner wisdom by regularly reflecting in silence. Commune with nature. Breathe deeply to quiet your distracted mind. For most of us city slickers it’s hard to even find the peace and quiet we want even in our own home. In my case I often plug in my earphones, turn up some Nora Jones or Missy Higgins music. There’s sound, yes, but music does soothe the savage beast and my soul.

Honor your strengths
What are your positive traits? What special talents do you have? List three – if you get stuck, ask those closest to you to help identify these. Are you imaginative, witty, good with your hands? Find ways to express your authentic self through your strengths. You can increase your self-confidence when you can share what you know to others.

Serve others
When you live authentically, you may find that you develop an interconnected sense of being. When you are true to who you are, living your purpose and giving of your talents to the world around you, you give back in service what you came to share with others -your spirit – your essence. The rewards for sharing your gift with those close to you is indeed rewarding, much more if it were to be the eyes of a stranger who can appreciate what you have done to them.

Self-improvement is indeed one type of work that is worth it. It shouldn’t always be within the confines of an office building, or maybe in the four corners of your own room. The difference lies within ourselves and how much we want to change for the better.

To your growth, development and amazing potential,
Lisa
Career and Leadership Coach
http://www.through-the-hayes.com

Ways to Get Yourself Noticed at Work and on the Fast Track to a Promotion

Suzy had all the talent, skills, resourcefulness and potential for a promotion. She continued to go unnoticed while many of her colleagues with less contributions were being rewarded handsomely. She needed to find ways she could get noticed at work and onto the fast track to a promotion.

First she asked herself these four questions:

• Am I gradually slipping into more and more obscure roles at work?
• Have my colleagues with the same experience and talent already moved up the ladder?
• Are my ideas and opinions looked upon as insignificant by my manager and team leaders?
• Am I ready to move into the spotlight?

When she realized most of her answers were yes she knew she had to learn how to increase her visibility.

She needs to begin by learning to promote herself. We are the salesperson for our own skills. Just as with a job interview, where we sell ourselves to a potential employer, the same is true for when we are ready for a promotion.

She came up with 10 ways to get noticed at work and get on the fast track to a promotion.

1. Dress professionally and appropriate to your position. Be well groomed and invest in your appearance.
2. Be on time to the job, for meetings and functions. Be there for important events.
3. Respect others and yourself. Treat others with respect. Greet people with pleasantries. Be helpful and supportive to new employees. Make friends in other departments. Give complements and tell others when they are doing a good job.
4. Share your knowledge. Go ahead and share it with your boss. Be prepared to share your skills.
5. Make your presence felt whenever possible. Do your research ahead of time. Ask good questions and be visible at meetings and important functions. Add value as well as hard work.
6. Find your niche by knowing your stuff and your worth. Be confident in what you know. What are you really good at? Become the expert in it.
7. Be a good communicator. Your body language, how you talk, and your conversations should all reflect your confidence. Speak up clearly. Be assertive.
8. Get known throughout the organization. Be someone others recognize for their friendliness, hard work and the value they add to the company.
9. Be a leader. Don’t be afraid to head up committees.
10. Stay up to date with what is happening in the world. Know who the company competitors are and what they are doing. Do your market research. Join LinkedIn, start your own blog based on your profession, be on Twitter following your business. Be visible.

There are many ways to become more visible to your employer and get on the fast track to a promotion. It takes more than hard work and longevity. Suzy began implementing many of these tips and is on the way to getting that promotion she’s been eyeing.

If a promotion or more recognition at work is something you are looking for, what things can you try? A coach or mentor is a great sounding board to talk through your goals and what steps you can take to get there.

To your growth, development and amazing potential,

Lisa
Career Coach and Leadership Mentor
www.through-the-hayes.com

The Art of Positive Goal Setting

With the close of the year upon us (gasp), many of us are trying to plan for the last quarter of 2014. Whether we are planning what our holiday cards might look like, what business goals still need to be achieved this year or starting to plan for 2015 we tend to sets goals this time of year. Stress levels become high when we think of all we must do!

We all know what it is like to set a New Year’s resolution only to fall flat on our faces by the first week of January. Aside from that, we also all probably know how setting a goal so high that we almost sabotage ourselves is another way to set ourselves up for failure. However, it does not have to be that way. There are more friendly and kind ways to set goals known as positive goal setting.

In positive goal setting you don’t set your sights to high and you set your goals with kindness to yourself in mind.

No more beating ourselves up for not achieving what we set out for in January. Can we agree we will not do that anymore? Negative thoughts, stress and self doubt creep in when we think of all we said we were going to do. Add to that all the things we are excited to plan for then next year and this time of year becomes very stressful! Here are some tips to help you be positive in your goal setting.

Be in the Moment
 
When you set a goal, make sure to state it in the present tense. For example, if you wish to return to school, state that you are already in school and doing well. By stating your goals as if they are in the present moment, you reinforce your minds belief that it is achievable and in the here and now.

State Your Goals and Write Them Down
 
State your goals verbally and write them down somewhere where you will see them every day. Maybe post them on a vision board with an appropriate picture next to it. For example, put a picture of a cap and gown next to your declared goal.

Write your goals in present tense as well. For example, “I am on my way to being a published author today and every day.”

When you state your goals in present tense it tells your mind that you are already achieving your goals in the now.

I wrote on my white board in my office that this was the year I was going to be a successful coach and help others feel confident tackling whatever business and career goals they had. I look at this each day and although I am far from my long term goal it is a reminder for me on where I am headed and what are my short term goals that I need to achieve to get there.

Take Action
 
In the example of going back to school, even if you are not ready to go back to school, you can still do the research or make a phone call or even order a catalogue. It does not have to be an all or nothing event. You can take a small action step every day and feel successful.

This is setting action steps with kindness. You don’t overwhelm your brain so that your first instinct is to quit.

Ask Yourself Some Pertinent Questions
 
Ask yourself what steps will? I take. Ask yourself how long will give myself to attain this goal? Who will I tell about this goal? Then write down the following items:

• Your game plan
• Your goals
• The ways you will achieve them/what tactics will I use

Visualize
Visualize your goals as being achieved. See yourself wearing that cap and gown. Imagine the sun shining down on your face as you walk to receive your diploma. Picture yourself as a best-selling author and how excited you feel signing your book.

When you visualize positive happenings, you bring your positive goals closer to you. However, if you focus on the negatives like I cannot or I will not, then those expand, as well. Either way it is your choice.

So, there you have it, a few simple tips to creative positive goals. As you can see, positive goal setting is a great way to set and achieve the even bigger goals.

Happy planning!

To your growth, development and amazing potential,

Lisa

Greatness Starts with Believing in Yourself

You know that feeling that you get when someone gives you a compliment? Or how about that fluttery feeling when an attractive someone smiles at you and catches your eye. Those are all good feelings aren’t they?

Well, how about if you were able to feel those feelings all on your own and to be able to call them up at any time. Now, that’s a different story all together. Have you ever noticed how we can be our own worst enemy? We talk ourselves out of things that are good for us, we talk ourselves in to things that are no good for us. We don’t even get out of the gate with some projects because of the self-sabotaging talk we offer ourselves.

Moreover, we know darn well that if our best friends were to talk to themselves like that we would never allow it. We would stop them dead in their tracks and point out all their wonderful attributes and then some.

Why is it then we cannot or do not do this for ourselves. There are some ways to start this practice with yourself, however.

Affirmations

We have all probably heard about self affirmations and maybe even thought they were a little silly. So, if the thought of telling yourself how much you are in love with yourself while looking in a mirror sounds a bit over the top, just hold on a minute.

How about trying something different? How about talking to yourself like you would an old familiar friend. When your friends are down and out, what is the first thing you do? You lift them up, that’s what. Try lifting yourself up when you feel that way.

Start by telling yourself out loud and, yes, in the mirror how much you have accomplished. By listing your accomplishments, you will see that they far outweigh your failures.

Make it a Visual Thing

One of the best things to do to tap into your greatness is to keep photos of accomplishments all around you. For example, let’s say you had a fear of flying and you took your first flight ever, then post a picture of that trip in your home office, or even in front of your work station. This will remind you that you have achieved greatness by overcoming fear.

If you have children, of course, post pictures of them. After all, they are some of your greatest achievements. If you obtained a certification in something or made someone smile and they sent you a thank you note, post that up there too.

The more you post things acknowledging your greatness, the more you will feel it internally.

Tap into Your Faith

No matter what faith you are, tap into your faith. If you believe in a higher being, then don’t be afraid to be thankful for your gift of creation. If a higher being believed in you enough to create you, then you must be something pretty special.

So, there you have it a few great ways to tap into your greatness and believe in yourself. And remember to tap into those great friends in times of doubt and let them remind you how amazing you really are, I know I do. And if you think someone in your life would benefit from this post, please share with them!

To Your Growth, Development and Amazing Potential,

Lisa